Dragon Age Inquisition: Tales of the Bog Unicorn
by Shadow Chaser
Summary: I sent Cullen to pick up my Bog Unicorn in the game on the meta theory that Josephine would be too wigged out dealing with it and there was no way Leliana would be able to conceal it in the shadows. I also had the head!canon that Cullen would pick it up, but be completely wigged out by it. Here's that story. Apparently now related one-shots.
1. The Bog Unicorn

DAI: Tale of the Bog Unicorn

by: Shadow Chaser

**Author's Notes:**

I happen to _really_ like the Bog Unicorn. And messing with Cullen (with great affection). Inquisitor is a human female mage, therefore Lady Trevelyan. She has a first name, but for purposes of fellow readers wanting to insert their own Trevelyans in this story, I will not be naming her.

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><p><strong>Story:<strong>

It had been Leliana acting on a tip from her contacts in Denerim that started the whole thing. Trevelyan had her suspicions it was probably King Alistair discreetly aiding the Inquisition without being outright about it. Reports of headless horsemen and horses with eyes like the damned in the Kocari Wilds, near the ruins of Ostagar. Many of the locals said it was the former King Cailan's army come back to haunt the living, while others said it was the numerous darkspawn that had overrun Ostagar and nearby Lothering that were causing these rumors.

Whatever it was, it had gotten the attention of the Inquisition. Josephine had suggested that they use the local populace and Bann of the area to see what truth were to the rumors. Leliana had suggested she send her spies in, adept in hiding in the shadows and avoiding the worst parts of the ruined wilds. But in the end, Trevelyan had taken Cullen's suggestion to send a contingent of soldiers and a few of First Enchanter Vivienne's mages who were trained to deal with the Fade. She had also suggested Solas, Dorian, and Ser Blackwall accompany the men; Blackwall able to sense whether or not darkspawn were there, Dorian in case there were numerous undead to deal with, and Solas for his vast Fade experience. Vivienne had scoffed at the three and disapproved of her suggestion, but she did concede her point that the three would be able to keep Cullen's men alive than if they did not go.

So the small group left for the outskirts of Ostagar.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Haven<strong>

Trevelyan was helping Threnn in the requisition tents when she heard the slightly hurried booted feet of someone in the rush. She was about to ignore the sound when out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Threnn stiffening to attention. Turning slightly, she felt a smile pull at the corner of her lips at the sight of Commander Cullen, before she registered the disconcerted look on his face, and her smile morphed into a frown.

"Commander?" she asked politely and with some concern.

"The others returned from Ostagar-"

"Was anyone injured?"

"Well, yes...but-" Cullen looked like he had both seen a ghost and swallowed something sour at the same time as he clasped his hands together. Trevelyan knew from the very short time she had known the Commander that he only did that when he was nervous or unsure and it was also very rare. "They brought back some...thing..."

"Some..._thing_?" she tilted her head before putting down the list and walked towards the Commander before he nodded quickly and gestured once for her to follow him.

They walked past the gates and turned the corner before Trevelyan stopped short at what must have unnerved the Commander. At first glance, it looked like something dead and by all rights, should not even be standing. But upon a second look, Trevelyan saw that it _was_ dead, but still standing with its tail swishing, nostrils, or whatever skin-folds were left on it, still flaring as if it was _breathing_.

"I swear, I didn't call it," Dorian's voice spoke up behind her and she turned slightly to see him stepping up, a mild expression on his face.

"We found it among the bogs, being attacked by a pack of wolves that had been raiding the towns near the ruins of the wilds. Seems like it had died a long time ago, but had been ghosting around, so to speak, trying to warn and protect the villagers. However, the villagers were too frightened of it and ran away from it before the wolves could attack – same difference I suppose," Blackwall said following Dorian, Solas moving past the two towards the horse, "wolves have been dealt with as was the source."

"It followed us here," Trevelyan turned to stare at the undead horse as Solas reached out and held onto the reigns, "the Commander wanted to know what would we do with it."

"I could try to lower it, but I'm not too sure how my magic would work this close to the Breach," Dorian suggested before gesturing to the horse's head, "and you see how well a sword would be against it."

"Looks like a unicorn," Trevelyan tilted her head a little as the bog horse tossed his head, jerking away from Solas a bit before settling. Cullen twitched a little next to her and she wondered if his Templar senses were getting anything untoward from it. Even though he had discarded his title of Knight-Captain, she knew from experience that once a Templar was always a Templar, even without the titles. Their abilities and knowledge stayed with them for life; including the lyrium addiction. "Commander?"

"I don't feel any hostility from it, I just...I haven't seen anything quite like it before," Cullen replied, "not too sure if I want to touch it or move to the far end of camp because it creeps me out looking at it."

"I think it's cute, in an ugly way of course," Trevelyan shrugged, ignoring the slightly incredulous look the Commander shot at her. "The First Enchanter at Ostwick could have told you about how I collected pets around Circle, practicing my healing on them before releasing them. Sometimes I wasn't too successful, healing crooked bones and that sort of thing, so I kept them as pets."

"Your parents must have loved your menageries when you went home at times," Dorian said dryly and Trevelyan grinned back before stepping forward and lifted her left hand, the hand with the power to seal the Breach, towards the undead creature.

"Trevelyan-"

Though she was a little touched at the concern in Cullen's voice, she ignored it and smiled widely as the horse-unicorn-undead-thing suddenly buried its nose into her outstretched hand, nearly pulling the reigns from Solas' grip. It also _whickered_ of all things and she could not help the small pleased laugh that emerged from her lips.

"And now I have seen everything," she barely heard Blackwall murmur behind her.

"You and me both," Cullen agreed.

"_Boys_," she threw back at them before she reached out with her other hand and stroked the bony face, feeling the oddly smooth-pulled dead skin that did not flake or even dissolve under her touch. "Hey...hey..." she murmured quietly towards the...ah, that was it, bog unicorn. "It's a bog unicorn," she said loudly and saw in its black, beady eyes, at least eyes and not just an eye-socket that glistened like eyes, and saw Solas raise an eyebrow before shrugging in agreement. She could see that he was the only one not scared or disturbed by the creature – more than likely having encountered some in the Fade or in his dreams.

"I think I'll name you Soggy, the Bog Unicorn," she grinned mostly to herself as she gently rubbed its nose, feeling the smooth bone underneath the taunt black-blue skin. She let her eyes roam on the tack and bridle of the horse before she saw what looked like an emblem on the bridle and leaned a little closer.

"Um...Lady Trevelyan-"

"Ser Blackwall?" she interrupted whatever he was going to say, "do you recognize this emblem?"

"Milady?" she heard Blackwall's boots stomp closer before she stepped back and let him peer at the emblem as close as he dared. She knew it was important judging by the minute widening of his eyes before he stepped back, surprised.

"That's...this..." he gestured to the bog unicorn, "I think this is King Cailan's charger, Lady Trevelyan."

She could only blink and stare. _Well...that was interesting..._

~END~


	2. How to Feed a Bog Unicorn

DAI: How to Feed a Bog Unicorn

by: Shadow Chaser

**Author's Notes:**

More Bog Unicorn shenanigans. Yes, I love the Bog Unicorn (to the point where one of my friends knitted a plush one for me and had me stick a toothpick sword through its head for the proper effect). My second favorite activity is messing with Cullen (with great affection). Inquisitor is a human female mage, therefore Lady Trevelyan. She has a first name, but for purposes of fellow readers wanting to insert their own Trevelyans in this story, I will not be naming her.

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><p><strong>Story:<strong>

Trevelyan knew that the stable hands were leery of taking care of Soggy, the Bog Unicorn – or if everyone, except Leliana, insisted that it was an undead horse – so she had received a crash course on grooming from the stablemaster in the Hinterlands.

Except there wasn't exactly much to groom on the Bog Unicorn, being undead and all...

So she contented herself with a daily brushing of the creature, who seemed to like the brushing even though it was just skin and jutting bones. She paid extra attention to the creature's hair, a flaming unnatural red, especially since the first time she had taken a brush to it, she had pulled out a chunk which had immediately dissolved in her hands. One of the stable hands that had mustered up the courage to watch her had lost all of her courage and scurried away in fright after that.

She had apologized to Soggy and the horse seemed to toss its head as if to say 'well, it happens.' Soggy's head toss also nearly jammed its sword-for-a-horn into the nearby armory station.

Surprisingly, for a bog creature, especially one who was undead, there was little to no smell emanating from it. She would have thought there was the decayed stench or even the musty smell of the bog itself on the horse, but perhaps it was the same magics that made it stay alive, or come back to life, that kept it from smelling like peat and rotten things.

"He seems to like you," Blackwall's gruff voice spoke up behind her and she nodded as she absently lifted one of Soggy's legs to check on his shoe. The first thing she had done after deciding to keep the Bog Unicorn was to make sure, even though it was dead, he was properly shoed. Luckily the stablemaster did not seem too disconcerted to horseshoe an undead animal.

"He seems to like those who don't come at him with swords or try to kill him," she corrected him as she absently checked Soggy's other shoes.

"Point taken," the Warden conceded, "but the creature has taken an exception to you. I can see it in its posture." The mission report Blackwall, Dorian, and Solas had given was interesting to say the least, especially the look on Cullen's face. There was also the matter that Trevelyan had noticed that some of the men whom had been sent on the mission skittered away when Soggy bared its teeth at them. They had apparently been the ones who had thought that he had been attacking them instead of helping them chase away the wolves.

She smiled a little, "If you had said you saw it in his eyes, I'd would have laughed."

"Then I saw it in his eyes," Dorian's voice called out and Trevelyan nearly lost her footing as she hastily put Soggy's foot down, the horse bolting forward a couple of steps. She turned around in time to see Dorian grinning at them, one of his hands hidden behind his back before flourishing a rotten apple that still had live maggots in them.

"What...is that?" Trevelyan could not help but stare at the disgusting mess and her jaw dropped a little at the sight of Soggy reaching his bony head out, trying to nibble at the rotten apple and maggots.

"Rotten apple and fresh maggots, my fair lady," Dorian held up the piece of fruit and the undead creature happily nibbled on it, oblivious to the sharpness of its bony mouth jabbing into Dorian's outstretched hand.

Trevelyan was fairly sure that Dorian was feeling every bit of the bone in whatever made up Soggy's nostril, but instead of being discomforted by it, he seemed positively giddy about it. "Yes, I can tell its a rotten apple and maggots..."

"Solas is a bit busy helping Adan with potion requests from Fiona and her mages, but he had mentioned he wanted to try an experiment of sorts with your...creature," Dorian explained as the Bog Unicorn finished its meal and nudged his hand sharply, wanting more. "Now, now, that's all you get for now. Experiment was a success."

"What...experiment? That my unicorn eats like any other animal?" she asked as Soggy continued to try to look for more.

"Hearty eater," Blackwall muttered mostly under his breath and she gave him a sideways glare.

"Nope, that the creature, though not quite of the Fade, but also quite dead, would like dead rotten things instead of something like this-" Dorian brought out a rather large cuboid sugar cube, and the Bog Unicorn shied away from it. "Ah..."

"Good to know..." she absently petted Soggy on his neck and the horse snorted. A thought occurred to her...if the horse ate dead, rotted things, then how did its digestive system process said dead things? And weren't maggots technically alive? Or... she blinked a bit as she quickly glanced back at the Bog Unicorn's rear end...it was the maggots that digested the dead things in Soggy's belly...it had to be. Which meant...

She grimaced a little and saw Blackwell also doing the same, having come to the same conclusion about the same time she had. Her grimace turned into a smile as the horse nudged her with its sharp bony nose. It did not matter...at least they had something that could potentially help with the composting from so many people arriving at Haven. Even if it was a bit...undead.

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><p>It was the few days later that Trevelyan had realized Commander Cullen had been watching the whole experiment Dorian had conducted as she passed by the stables on her way to the smithy and saw him set down a giant wicker basket of something that had flies buzzing around it and the Bog Unicorn happily trot over and began to eat. Little by little, her unicorn was slowly being accepted...maybe a little like her too.<p>

~END~


	3. How to Train a Bog Unicorn

DAI: How to Train a Bog Unicorn

by: Shadow Chaser

**Author's Notes:**

Bog Unicorn. Nuff said. Also, human female mage – aka Lady Trevelyan. Yes, she has a first name, no I am not using her first name. She can be your Lady Trevelyan or mine. Point being, she is on the romance path with Cullen.

**Fair Warning: **Major spoilers for picking a side in the Mage-Templar War and onwards. You have been warned.

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><p><strong>Story:<strong>

The singing had faded somewhat, but it was also due to the winds carrying the survivors' voices in the opposite direction. Trevelyan shivered a little bit as she wrapped the blanket-turned-makeshift-cloak tighter around her. She stared out into the vast expanse of the Frostback Mountains, noting that even though they were technically in a valley area, there were still more valleys and crevasses that led deep down into the endless ravines of the mountains.

"How do you think Corypheus found the orb?" she asked as she felt a bit of heat near her right side, Solas conjuring up a small ball of flame that he encased in a barrier orb to at least give them some warmth standing away from the main fires of the camp.

"I...do not know..." she did not stare at Solas, but could hear something off in his voice, something that sounded a bit like regret.

"I will not and do not blame the elves for this, Solas," she flicked a quick look at him to see something else flit across his expression before he gave her a grimacing smile, "you of all people should know that I value the knowledge and traditions your kind has preserved through so many hardships."

"I know," Solas replied as he absently rolled the ball of flame from hand to hand, staring mostly at it, or through it, deep in thought.

She would have conjured up her own fireball to warm herself except she could still feel the magick inside of her swirling unsteadily, exhausted, harried, prickling with a fight or flight instinct. There was also the bone deep exhaustion she felt physically, her injuries still pulling their pain at her, the cuts not healed. She had only woken up recently and she knew that if she cast any spells, it would surely either kill her or make her fall unconscious even before the spell was cast. Magical exhaustion was something she was very familiar with, her Harrowing the stuff of legends at the Ostwick Circle – she had been surprised that no one in the group, Vivienne especially, had known the story or had even mentioned it. Surely it would have filtered through the Chantry gossip, especially through the Templars.

She was able to make a move to leave Solas to his thoughts, sensing a disquiet melancholy about the Fade dreamer, when he suddenly shifted a bit. "He was the one who led us to you, my friend," he said quietly and Trevelyan stared at him for a second before he turned and a small smile appeared on his angular face.

"Your bog unicorn," he clarified and she tilted her head a little, a sudden swooping feeling of something she could not identify filling her. Soggy! She had forgotten all about Soggy in the frantic attack on Haven! She knew that the horses had been used as both pack and for soldiers as they evacuated, but she had been frantic in saving everyone that she had seen Soggy's stable empty and thought that he had either run away or had fled somewhere during the attack. Soggy had not liked people attacking them while they had been riding in the Hinterlands and up through the Storm Coast. Oddly, Soggy delighted in viciously attacking those in the Fallow Mire, but Trevelyan had thought it was because he had been so used to keeping malevolent spirits away and so the Mire was perhaps familiar ground.

"Is he-"

"Safe, stabled, pawing curiously at the snow like any other animal who had never seen it," Solas' small smile turned wider, the veil of melancholy lifting away, replaced by an ease and friendliness that Trevelyan was used to. Solas was probably one of the first friends she had made after the aftermath of the conclave – more than likely because she kept pestering him about the Fade and his dreams in there and he indulged her endless curiosity about the subject that she had not been allowed to study at Ostwick. She never knew the reason why, but figured it was more than likely due to what happened at her Harrowing.

"He's not eating it is he?" she had no idea what cold snow would do to an undead creature like Soggy.

"Thankfully no, but he has been a carrion for the wolves we have killed, cleaning their bones after we've taken the meat for consumption," Solas shrugged, his smile wistful, "he is a wondrous creature, of both the Fade and of this world. I still do not know what to make of him."

"How on Maker did you train him to search for me? Or," she lifted her left hand, the Rift magick sparking and glowing green on the scar itself, "did he smell this or something?" Every time she had gone to visit Soggy or brush him, or even ride him, he always held his nose towards her left hand, more than likely drawn towards it for whatever reason. There was nothing outward or hostile about it, but he seemed to like resting his nose on the tear, breathing it in or perhaps just feeling its unique magick around it.

"Actually..." Solas' wide smile became a little more teasing, "it was Commander Cullen."

All thoughts in Trevelyan's head screeched to a halt as she whipped her head around to stare at Solas, "Excuse me?"

"The Commander, well, a lot of us, Cassandra, Varric, and I included, had seen you face off against Corypheus after we were separated from you by his dragon. I can only guess what happened, but we saw you fire the trebuchet and fall. When the three of us met up with the rest of the survivors, it was the Commander who immediately grabbed the scrap of cloth from one of your old armors that was in your trunk and shoved it towards your bog unicorn," Solas explained, gesturing with his hand towards her, "...Soggy..."

Trevelyan grinned at Solas' abrupt pause as he mouthed Soggy's name again in silence before shaking his head. She realized that this was the first time he had ever tried to even say her bog unicorn's name. Everyone else either called it the 'undead creature,' 'that thing,' 'the bog creature,' 'the-bog-horse-with-a-sword-through-it's-head,' or some vairation thereof.

"Soggy...or, rather, I believe the Commander had been teaching a few things to your horse, or perhaps knew more about its capabilities than either, but your horse took one sniff at the cloth before bolting. The Commander and the rest of the search party followed," Solas shrugged, "that's how we found you in the snow."

"I'll have to thank the Commander for his efforts," it was the second time that Trevelyan was aware of the Commander doing something for her mount that she was only peripherally aware of. She wondered if he was secretly a horse master or knew more about horses than anyone let on. But he seemed to keep mostly to himself about Soggy or anything that he was doing for the undead creature, but a part of her was deeply touched once more by his actions. She knew she had been close to dying and had even thought that she had been hallucinating Cullen, Cassandra, and the others' voices when she had all but collapsed into the snow.

As she stared back out into the inky darkness of the mountains and the night, she missed the impishly wistful smile on Solas' face, as if he could see something about her and the Commander that she could not yet.

~END~


	4. The Not-So-Favored Bog Unicorn

DAI: The Not-So-Favored Bog Unicorn

by: Shadow Chaser

**Author's Notes:**

Bog Unicorn. Nuff said. Also, human female mage – aka Lady Trevelyan. Yes, she has a first name, no I am not using her first name. She can be your Lady Trevelyan or mine. She's also romancing Cullen at this point, but it's a really slow burn of a pairing (aka, they're both a bit oblivious).

**Fair Warning: **Major spoilers for picking a side in the Mage-Templar War (post-In Your Heart Shall Burn questline) and onwards. You have been warned.

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><p><strong>Story:<strong>

Soggy tossed his head and whickered softly as Trevelyan gently patted his cheek, the corner of her lips twitching up in a smile. The bog unicorn had his nose and mouth buried in a bucket full of maggots, rotten meats, vegetables, and all sorts of leftover garbage, and was eating happily. She had gotten used to the smell since Dorian had conducted Solas' experiment with her horse in Haven. Here in Skyhold, there were plenty of decaying and rotted things Soggy could eat, especially with the Inquisition growing day by day as stragglers, survivors, visiting dignitaries, pilgrims, and even sell-swords came by to offer their services.

"I could do without the smell, even at my age," Grand Enchanter Fiona's rough cracked voice spoke up from Soggy's other side, her fingers flexing a little as she held the bucket for the horse to eat out of, "but I could scarcely believe it until I saw him."

"Maybe I should ask Helisma to donate whatever is left after I give her things to research," Trevelyan said and Fiona laughed a little, Soggy snorting into the bucket as if agreeing with her.

"If you can part her from her research specimens," the elder mage replied, "she truly loved animals before she was made Tranquil. A little like you, if the stories I've heard regarding you before the Circles fell."

"Bent and broken things, always loved fixing them," Trevelyan shrugged, absently patting Soggy on the cheek again, "though Soggy here, doesn't need fixing, do you?"

The bog unicorn snorted again as if to say, 'Maker, no,' and continued to eat.

"I was scarce to believe that this was King Cailan's charger, but..." Fiona reached out with a hand and Trevelyan peered around Soggy's nose to see her fingering the bridle that had the former King of Ferelden's emblem on it. It had all but fused to Soggy's skin, making it a bit hard to saddle him up at times, but she and one of the stablehands had managed it after some trial and error back in Haven. Most of the other stablehands still would not feed or brush Soggy down, so it was still up to her, but at least one of them had been brave enough to help saddle Soggy when she needed him.

"I know you said you knew King Maric, Cailan's predecessor, but did you also know King Cailan?" there was something in Fiona's expression that Trevelyan could not identify, as if something hesitant, hidden, buried for a long time that was almost...wistfulness?

"I know only bits and pieces," Fiona rubbed the emblem absently, "heard stories that did not quite filter through the courts. Maric, er, King Maric worked with the Grey Wardens long ago so I had been privy to a few things. When I left the Wardens, I had heard from one of Maric's closest friends that he, not the King, thought Cailan was not fit to rule, that Bryce Cousland should have been elected monarach. Maric was too blinded to his son's fauls, too idealistic, too rushed looking for glory." She smiled sadly, "Cailan did not have to die at Ostagar...if he had been perhaps more like..." She trailed off before shaking her head a little, "Ignore this old woman's prattling, milady. They are nothing-"

"Of course they're nothing, Fiona dear," Vivienne's sharp voice made Soggy jerk his head up and Trevelyan had to quickly grab the bog unicorn's bridle to prevent him from charging forward to greet the Knight Enchanter. The mage turned her sharp-eyed gaze on Trevelyan, "And you..."

"I know..." Trevelyan resisted the urge to roll her eyes or sigh like she was just an apprentice back at the Circle. Somehow, even four years after her Harrowing and the start of the rebellion, Vivienne always made her feel like an apprentice who had done something horribly wrong. Though at times, she managed to hold her own, there were times when she felt a little cowed by the First Enchanter's strong personality.

She gripped Soggy's bridle tight as her bog unicorn lifted his head out of the bucket Fiona had fed him and tried to nibble, or at least greet Vivienne in its sharp-bony affection. But the Knight Enchanter was having none of it as she sniffed disdainfully at Soggy and proceeded to lead her own horse out of the stables. Trevelyan had almost forgotten that Leliana wanted her and Josie to do something in Val Royaleux for the Inquisition – alliances and everything.

Soggy made a wuffing sound of disappointment, staring with its eyeless sockets at the Knight Enchanter's retreating form before heaving a very un-animal like sigh and digging its head back into Fiona's bucket.

"Inquisitor?" Trevelyan saw that Fiona had a mild look on her face and sighed.

"I have no idea, no wait, I do have a theory on why Soggy likes Vivienne, because it's the same reaction he had when Commander Helaine is near by. Except she's probably more inclined to pet Soggy than to ignore him."

"First Enchanter Vivienne was always enamored with stature and power and detests the aspects of magick that are unnatural and not of this world," Fiona looked a bit resigned. Trevelyan wondered if she had dealt more with Vivienne in Orlais' courts before the mage rebellion – she probably had judging by the frostiness she had seen between the two whenever they were within the vicinity of each other. Even the Templars who had joined them that were familiar with both the Grand Enchanter and the First Enchanter always seemed wary and tried to scurry out of the way. If Templars avoided the two whenever they were nearby, it really meant that the two probably disliked and loathed each other. She hesitated to say _hated_, since she did not exactly have proof and did not want to make false assumptions, but it could have been close.

"Considering the fact that Soggy's drawn to this," she held up her left hand and saw her bog unicorn's nose twitch towards it before he resumed his snacking, "I think because of the type of power both Vivienne and Helaine exudes as Knight Enchanters, a variation of the long ago Arcane Warrior magick based on the twisting magick of the Fade, it could explain why he's drawn towards them."

Fiona nodded, accepting her explanation before the corner of her lips twitched up in a grandmotherly smile, "Jealous?"

Trevelyan had to laugh, "Maybe, just a little, but it's okay if Soggy finds someone else. I've learned long ago when I was healing broken things that sometimes, you have to let them go sooner or later." She patted her bog unicorn gently on the cheek again and heard him snort, as if disagreeing with her sentiments.

Sooner or later, whatever magick was bestowed upon Soggy to make him undead, would eventually fade and he would be lowered back into the Fade or the mire from whence he came. But in the mean time, he was her bog unicorn.

~END~


	5. How to Slay a Dragon: with a bog unicorn

DAI: How to Slay a Dragon (with a bog unicorn)

by: Shadow Chaser

**Author's Notes:**

Bog Unicorn. Nuff said. Also, human female mage – aka Lady Trevelyan. Yes, she has a first name, no I am not using her first name. She can be your Lady Trevelyan or mine. She's also romancing Cullen at this point, but it's a really slow burn of a pairing (aka, they're both a bit oblivious).

**Fair Warning: **Major spoilers for picking a side in the Mage-Templar War (post-In Your Heart Shall Burn questline) and onwards. You have been warned.

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><p><strong>Story:<strong>

_How to Kill a Dragon with a Bog Unicorn:_

Step 1 – Stab dragon through soft palate under jaw

Step 2 – Chop head off, preferably with Knight Enchanter sword

Step 3 – ...Profit?

* * *

><p>"Varric! This is the last time I'm listening to one of your contacts!" Trevelyan shouted as she clung onto a rock, squinting through the haze of dust and debris the Ferelden Frostback was kicking up with her powerful wings.<p>

"How the hell should I have known that the red lyrium was right _next_ to a dragon's nest?! The guy only-" Varric choke a little as the dust became blinding, "for Andraste's flaming sword..." Through the haze of the dust and debris, Trevelyan thought she saw Varric let go of the rock he was clinging onto and turn, flying through the air at the same time firing several arrows from his crossbow.

The dragon roared and stopped flapping its wings as she turned her serpentine horned head, trying to pinpoint Varric, before Iron Bull's wild excited war cry announced his arrival. Trevelyan saw the Qunari leap from a ledge, giant broadsword gleaming in the air and slice at the dragon, scoring sparks on her armor before the dragon roared again, annoyed. But his blow did its job as she turned to search for the newest annoying prey and Trevelyan gulped down a breath, ducking haphazardly under the swing of its powerful wings and tail.

"Hah! Hah!" Vivienne's voice calling the dragon's attention from somewhere in the dragon's front was heralded by the sudden flash of light as the Knight Enchanter led the attack with Iron Bull.

Trevelyan pushed herself to her feet, her had gripping tight on the staff she carried with her. It was supposed to be a simple mission; one of Varric's contacts in Redcliffe had spied red lyrium deposits somewhere beyond the Rebel Queen's Ravine. She offered to accompany the dwarf to destroy it and Iron Bull volunteered mostly to ensure that if they were waylaid on their trek there, there would be some extra muscle. He had been a little more than bored in recent days that his second-in-command Krem had 'volunteered' his boss as a suggestion to bring him along.

Trevelyan had also thought it a great opportunity to also bring along Vivienne, hoping to at least get to know the senior mage better. She also secretly hoped that the short trek from Skyhold to the Hinterlands would at least make Vivienne more amiable to Soggy's presence instead of ignoring the bog unicorn for the most part. She had seen Soggy look sad and disappointed each time Vivienne was nearby and did not even acknowledge him.

There was the sudden movement out of the corner of her eye and she only had enough time to call out, "Soggy! No!" as her the bog unicorn raced past her, posture and gait set and angry as he charged at the dragon. "No!" she called out again, but it was too late and she watched as if one of Dorian's haste spells seemingly slowed everything around her except for the bog unicorn.

"What-"

"Hey, boss-"

Vivienne and Iron Bull did not even finish what they were saying as the bog unicorn sunk its sharp bony teeth into one of the dragon's mandibles. Apparently it was the right spot as the beast roared and lifted its head up. Soggy tossed his head angrily and stamped the ground, lowering his head as if to charge forth with the sword through its head like a battering ram. Trevelyan tried to move through the murky mire that seemingly engulfed the area, oblivious to the sparking green glow of the Fade anchor in her hand, feeling some kind of oppressivness that tried to keep her back-

The Frostback's head suddenly dipped down as Soggy raced forward and she gasped as she saw the bog unicorn's horn stab deep into the soft jaw palate under the dragon's head-

And her bog unicorn suddenly lifted off the ground as the dragon opened her mouth and _roared_. Trevelyan thought her ears had been blasted to pieces as she staggered, stunned for a moment at the sheer _pain_ and agony the dragon had to be feeling. She blinked, confused for a second before shaking off the effects of the spell, her anger and fury rushing up as she rushed forward, the icy cool magick of the blurring step of not-quite-stepping into the Fade sending her straight towards the dragon. She blurred past her friends, noticing them still reeling in an unusual slow-motion disorientation of the stunning roar the dragon unleashed. But her only concern now was for Soggy.

"Let him go!" she shouted as she skidded to a stop by the dragon's head, glaring at its lone serpentine eye from the side. She could see Soggy's legs kicking in the air, her bog unicorn whinnying with some concern at what he had done to try to protect her. He was also trying to yank his horn from where it was wedged through the dragon's jaw, but did not seem to realize how to free itself while hanging in the air.

The dragon opened its mouth and Trevelyan _moved_ sliding through the not-quite-Fade, passing through where the sharp teeth and rough patches of skin on its jaw was, appearing just as suddenly on the other side, leaving a wake of icy chill. "Viv!" she shouted as she saw her friends recovering from their disoriented state and the Knight Enchanter reacted without thinking, throwing her, her glowing broadsword.

Trevelyan caught it, oblivious to its weight as she slashed downward at the dragon's exposed neck, having been caught off guard. "LET. GO. OF. MY. BOG. UNICORN!" she shouted with each stroke of the sword, the blood splattering on her, all over the ground. She ignored it as with the last heave of her waning strength, her arms not used to holding such a sword, she suddenly found herself slicing through the dragon's neck, blood spurting into the air as the beast suddenly collapsed to the ground with an earth shaking thump.

Trevelyan belatedly realized that the dragon was dead as she stared dumbly at the sight of its headless bleeding body, and Soggy half collapsed to the ground by the weight of the dragon's head. The sword dissolved from her hands as she blinked several times, oblivious to the blood, guts, and scorch marks of fire she was unable to duck away from, of what used to be the Ferelden Frostback covering her from head toe. Beyond her, Soggy was on his front knees, still vainly trying to pull himself from the dragon's soft palate, whickering in annoyance at the task as he was still wedged in.

"Boss..." Iron Bull sounded breathless and giddy as deafening silence reigned in the clearing, "that was so much fun..."

~END~


	6. A New Stablemate

DAI: A New Stablemate

by: Shadow Chaser

**Author's Notes:**

Bog Unicorn. Nuff said. Also, human female mage – aka Lady Trevelyan. Yes, she has a first name, no I am not using her first name. She can be your Lady Trevelyan or mine. She's also romancing Cullen at this point, but it's a really slow burn of a pairing (aka, they're both a bit oblivious).

**Fair Warning: **Major spoilers for picking a side in the Mage-Templar War (post-In Your Heart Shall Burn questline) and onwards. You have been warned.

* * *

><p><strong>Story:<strong>

"One day, you're going to tell me the story of just what kinds of animals you took care of while you were at Ostwick's Circle," Cullen murmured absently as Trevelyan stood next to him.

"I'll have to be either very drunk or in a Wicked Grace game when that happens," Trevelyan muttered underneath her breath with a crooked grin on her face. Together the two of them watched from the middle of the main stairs as the latest acquisition for the Inquisition was gingerly brought in, led by Cullen's scouts that had volunteered to bait and trap the creature somewhere in the Dales.

"But it's not me you have to worry about this time, Commander," she teased lightly, "it's Madame de Fer's idea to ask for a rare of a mount as a...uh...what's it called again?"

"Dracolisk," Cullen supplied and Trevelyan nodded, noting that all work had stopped around the area as the creature was led in, it's serpentine beak snapping at the small raw meats the handlers threw at it once every few steps. "I think...a Hunter Shade Dracolisk? At least that was what the missives I received from the Madame herself."

"I knew Iron Bull _really liked_ dragons-"

"It is too early for me to even think of what he said after all of you returned from killing the Ferelden Frostback. I did _not_ need to know that translation of that Qunari phrase thank you very much," Cullen cut her off with a shake of his head as he shot her a look to which her grin only got wider.

"I meant to say, never realized Vivienne preferred something that looks like a horse mated with a dragonling and spat it back out," she continued before shrugging, "still, it does have some pretty scales and colors on it. Almost like a venomous snake or something..."

"Of course, darling," Vivienne's imperious voice above and behind them made them turn to see her descending the stairs, a pleased look on her face, "ah, Commander, your men have successfully lured it out. I do hope that none of them were injured in the attempt. The dracolisk's venom is quite...deadly in the dissolving kind."

"My men heeded your warnings to the letter, Lady Vivienne," Cullen said respectfully with a quick nod as she brushed past them on her way down to where the dracolisk was herded towards the stables area.

Trevelyan watched with some fascination as Vivienne reached out to the dracolisk with one bold hand, letting the creature snap at her, close enough that she thought the mage was going to lose her arm. But the First Enchanter did not seem phased by the dracolisk's attempts to eat her before it snorted, smokey breath filtering from its serpentine nose and its slit lidless eyes. It stamped the ground with its lizard-like feet several times before it finally lowered its head and stared at Vivienne with a baleful glare, but seemed to acquiesce to her stroking it once in between its eyes before tapping it once on its horned head.

"Madam de Fer..." Trevelyan breathed out and out of the corner of her eyes, saw Cullen nod in agreement. Vivienne was scary...

"How's Sog-er-your bog unicorn going to cope with its new stablemate?" Cullen suddenly asked and Trevelyan was startled out of her reverie as she realized he had almost called her bog unicorn by name – besides the fact that he had actually called Soggy a _bog unicorn_.

"I think he'll be fine..." she shrugged as Vivienne took a bridle and tack that had been gingerly handed to her by one of the scouts and swiftly put it on the dracolisk before leading it towards the stables.

She hoped Soggy would be fine with his new stablemate.

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><p>There was only one spot on the barnyard loft that Trevelyan had been able to sneak towards and hide in without alerting her bog unicorn. It was also a perfect cover to watch others interact with Soggy, to see her bog unicorn happy even when she was not there. She had noted several times since Soggy had been stabled at Skyhold that her bog unicorn was extremely attuned to her presence and it seemed that this spot was either downwind or a blind spot of sorts that she had been able to hide in and watch her bog unicorn without the creature reacting to her presence.<p>

So now, she watched from her spot as Solas finished petting Soggy, leaving him with a small bucket of maggots and severely rotting cheese that the kitchens had said was not even safe to consume. The Fade dreamer had also brought in fresh goat meat, harvested from the thrown goats that Morvan the Under had threw against Skyhold in a misguided attempt to get at Tevinter. Sending Morvan and his clan to Tevinter with as many weapons as they could carry had been the best judgment in her opinion – and had brought a lot of smiles to everyone's faces so soon after they had escaped from Haven.

The bucket of goat meat had been placed carefully in front of the dracolisk's stall, the creature having refused all manner of meats except those fed by Vivienne or Solas. The elf had explained that he had spent time in many ruins and encountered many rare and unusual creatures that he understood how a dracolisk, especially one captured to become a mount, needed to be taken care of and fed. That had gotten Trevelyan to wondering if Solas had ever ridden a dracolisk, but the elf was mum on that point.

Task done, Solas petted Soggy gently on his sharp bony nose and headed out of the stables. She heard him stop a bit away, talking with someone, but instead focused her attention on Soggy who was happily eating away in the trough full of maggots. Her bog unicorn looked happy, unlike how dismayed he was after he had gotten his "horn" accidentally stuck in the Ferelden Frostback's soft palate. Even with the Frostback's head decapitated, Soggy had to carry the dragon skull back to Skyhold, no amount of force, even by Iron Bull, could dislodge it without ripping the sword out of Soggy's own head. The bog unicorn had been miserable and they had made for a very unusual sight when they had arrived at Skyhold. Josie summed up most of the keep's inhabitants' thoughts with a shriek and jaw dropping to the ground.

Cullen had been more concerned about the cuts, scraps, and bruises they had suffered, and to her slight embarrassment, more about _her_ bleeding injuries, but had also been equally concerned about the bleeding, dripping dragon head stuck on Soggy's head. She had supported Soggy's heavy load on its head with a strengthening binding spell that had left her all but exhausted after they had returned to Skyhold. Solas had been called as Soggy was stabled, albeit snorting and whinnying about the still-stuck-dragon-head as it laid on the ground. She did not know what Solas did to free the dragon head from Soggy's horn, but after she woke up two days later, had come down from her quarters on Josie's insistence to see that the dragon's head had been turned into a fine throne room chair and that Soggy was somewhat back to normal. It was also then that she heard that Dorian had been involved in helping Solas and figured the Tevinter mage knew better about necromancy and undead things, especially in regards to what Soggy was, to help her bog unicorn. She had been very touched by her two friends' help with Soggy and had repaid them with a few runes she had Dagna specially made for them.

Soggy usually interacted with the other horses in the stables by snorting at them, whinnying like a regular horse, but in the times she had spied her mount from her hiding spot, the horses seemed to shy mostly away from the bog unicorn – more than likely finding him too repulsive or unusual to be considered one of their own. Most animals and creatures were like that, using scent and other subtle signals to communicate.

She watched as Soggy suddenly lifted his head from the trough to _spit,_ of all things, at the dracolisk in the stable across from him. Flecks of half-chewed maggots flew and hit the dracolisk in the face and the serpentine-dragon-like creature snorted and flicked its tongue out, tasting the air. At the same time, its forked tongue lashed all around its face, _licking_ the half-chewed maggots away before glaring balefully at Soggy who bobbed his head up and down as if laughing.

Trevelyan stifled a muffled laugh before her eyes widened at the sight of the dracolisk suddenly using its forked tongue to grab the handle in the small bucket with the precision of fingers and _threw_ its contents at Soggy. The bucket clattered as Soggy danced away from the falling meats smacking into wooden boards with a wet pulpy sound, snorting and pawing at the ground before the dracolisk gave several hisses. Trevelyan realized that the dracolisk was _laughing_, and very human-like too. She turned back to see Soggy lift a foot up and paw at something in his stable before lowering his head. He reappeared a second later, chewing absently on one of the fresh goat meats that had been thrown at him, and she swore that she saw the smarmiest smile on her bog unicorn's face – if one could call it that.

Soggy had made a new best friend.

~END~


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